Family mediation services

Mediation is a safe space to discuss matters arising from a separation or divorce. It is not relationship therapy and, whilst mediators are trained to help separating couples communicate, they are not trained to assist with reconciliation. Within the mediation process, couples may decide to reconcile but it is not the specific aim of the process. Mediators can signpost couples to appropriate therapeutic support if they wish to consider reconciliation rather than separation.

It is possible to use mediation at any time once you have reached the decision to separate; the process can start before there has been a physical separation and before any divorce proceedings. Alternatively, some couples are referred to mediation by their solicitor at varying stages of the legal process of separating and/or divorce. Couples who are in Court proceedings might be referred to mediation by a Judge if appropriate.

There is no right or wrong time to begin mediation and it is never too late to try, even if you are in Court proceedings in the weeks before a Final Hearing.

There is no requirement to consult a solicitor before or during mediation, although mediators will recommend taking independent legal advice at varying stages throughout the process of mediation. It is common in a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (“MIAM”) for a mediator to signpost any specific issues that the client should consider taking independent legal advice upon, ideally before any joint meetings. During joint meetings, mediators will suggest to one or both clients that they should take independent legal advice as necessary.

Our mediators at Blake Morgan are also experienced specialist family law solicitors. In mediation, we are able to give legal information to both clients but we are not able to give independent legal advice.

Mediation is a voluntary process and no one can force their former partner or spouse to participate. In cases of domestic abuse, mediation may not be appropriate. If a victim of domestic abuse feels able to try mediation, there are safeguards that can be put in place to protect them within the process. These can include undertaking shuttle mediation (where each party is in a separate room and the mediator ‘shuttles’ between the rooms) or mediation taking place remotely rather than in person.

There is no subject that is off-limits at mediation if both clients are willing to discuss it. Ordinarily, discussions focus on arrangements for children or financial matters, but can also include arrangements for family pets and the division of personal belongings. The benefit of mediation is that each family sets their own agenda and the mediator can then focus the discussions on each family’s specific priorities.

The first step in the mediation process is for each client to attend an individual Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (“MIAM”) with their mediator. These meetings are confidential between the client and the mediator and are an opportunity for the client to tell the mediator everything that they believe it is important for the mediator to know. During this conversation, the mediator will be assessing whether or not mediation is an appropriate process for the client and, if necessary, is an opportunity to explore any safeguards that might be necessary to facilitate mediation in a variety of circumstances. The mediator will also provide information to the client about the alternate forms of dispute resolution that they could consider.

Following a MIAM with both clients, if everyone is willing to proceed, the mediator will arrange a series of joint meetings with both clients to discuss the matters arising from their separation in the hope of reaching an agreement.

Discussions at mediation are ‘without prejudice’, which means that anything said at mediation cannot be referred to in legal proceedings. This is particularly of benefit where mediation is used to discuss arrangements for children; unlike at mediation, solicitors cannot negotiate on a without prejudice basis regarding arrangements for children and this can prevent solutions being suggested and considered, for fear of weakening a case if the matter went to Court. Mediation provides a confidential forum for parents to suggest and explore any number of options to try and find a solution that works for their family.

If an agreement is reached at mediation about arrangements for children, the mediator will work with the parents to produce and sign a Parenting Plan which records what has been agreed and which, once signed, can be referred to in the future if needed. The Parenting Plan is confidential to the parties, in that it ought not be shared with third parties without the express agreement of the other parent, but it is not without prejudice. This means that if either parent needed to refer matters to the Family Court in the future, the Court would be able to view the Parenting Plan. The Court would not, however, be able to hear any information about the discussions at mediation that led to the creation of the Parenting Plan.

If an agreement is reached about the division of shared finances, the mediator will produce two documents for the clients. The first is an ‘Open Financial Statement’, which records the financial disclosure that the parties have exchanged within mediation and will include an asset schedule. This document is ‘open’, meaning it can be referred to in legal proceedings. The second document the mediator will produce is a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’, which records the agreement that has been reached at mediation. That document is without prejudice, meaning it cannot be referred to in legal proceedings. The mediator will recommend that parties take independent legal advice upon the Memorandum of Understanding. In the case of a divorce, the parties will then need to convert the Memorandum of Understanding into a consent order (which will usually require some independent legal assistance) and submit that to the Family Court for approval. The terms of the consent order are not without prejudice, which is why mediators will particularly recommend that both clients seek independent legal advice before converting a Memorandum of Understanding into a consent order.